Spirit! Spirit! Spirit!!!!

Some days I find myself obsessing over my life. My actions, my lack of actions, my treading water. I think I've written a few other times that I feel like I am screaming for God to take over- rend control of this ridiculous person from my sad, sorry hands. Begging for that, pleading for that. In all of that obsessing, I've found myself reaching for the Spirit and any little nugget of information I can get about Him. The Spirit is my helpful friend, my way out of this entrapment.
So, now instead of begging and pleading God to take my life from my hands, I'm begging the Spirit. Sometimes I think He's there, and other times, I think as much as I want Him to be there, I've pushed him away.

I am my own worst enemy. I think too much, I over-complicate EVERYTHING, and I involuntarily fight against everything that I know to be True. I know the TRUTH, so why can't I get my act together? Why can't my heart sync up with my head??

Spirit, you are the key to all of this. You consume me, and I can do the work that God has prepared in advance for me to do. I want to cease to exist in any form of my own, I want to be what you make of me, Spirit, and nothing more. Stomp me into the ground. There is nothing worth salvaging. Make me entirely new and entirely surrendered to You, Lord. This is what I pray and plead, every day, every moment. Shatter me.

Am I crazy for wanting that? I know the Truth, but the pride within me still wants to throw a few punches. Spirit, that's where you come in!!! Sanctify me!

Does not Compute

I have not grown accustomed to the fits and starts of living, or not living my own life for Christ. Each setback is like a shovel to the face. Each slip up is a sign of my ultimate and impending failure- total failure. Wow, I sound like an Alanis Morissette song. No wonder I gravitate toward her music. She uses big words and breaks two-syllable words into three-syllable words. Mmmm, syllables.

So we are having a tough time of it, Lord. I am, rather. You wait for me to get over myself like a infinitely patient mother waiting for her toddler to come out of a tantrum. I appreciate that, but at the same time, can't you rip me from my own hands? Can't you induce a God-coma so that I can bust out of this joint?

Right now, I am like this black-haired emo girl with her hair covering her eyes and a flock of ravens flying around my head. Internally, of course. Mothers of toddlers don't have the luxury of full-throttle selfish depression sabaticals. And I'm over myself enough that I can keep it all internal. Or at least confined to my head and this lovely Blog thing. If my thoughts aren't in my head, you'll find them typed out here. Blah blah blah blah blah blah.

So, this "funk". I hate it. If I knew what it was about, like, specifically, I could work myself out of it. My biggest fear is that this whole mess is going to require some kind of emotional apex. Until I reach that point of complete and total desperation, lose all grasp of my emotional structure that I have built up...see, it doesn't matter that I am begging God with every breath I have. That I plead with the Spirit to clobber me good. Somewhere, I am resisting. Resisting the breaking.

I don't know what I'm supposed to break about. I feel like my brain is waiting for my heart to catch up. My brain is the responsible adult, who uses logic and reason and Truth to move forward. My heart is this selfish little brat with a list of hurts that goes on and on into infinity, and she just wants to mope and mope and be emo. I am living in duality.

Ugh, why couldn't I have been a man? Am I some kind of experiment, Lord? Why must I be this roaring freak show of internal passion and emotion, rolling like waves through my entire being...yet what comes out is this...trickle? Who is controlling this?

Ah, that's enough for one evening, Alanis. Let's get back to whatever it is we're getting back to. Numbing myself or whatever.

What does it mean to follow Him?

Do you love Jesus? Really? Do I? I say I do. I feel like I do. I try my best to act like I do. Which one of those matters? All of them? Probably.

Jesus tells us to "love one another as I have loved you." That is his command right before he goes to the cross. How has he loved us? He was a servant. And not like, a casual one. He didn't just serve as the occasion popped up. No. He sought out opportunities to serve. He roamed the countryside looking for servant opportunities. His life was aimed at servanthood.

What is my life aimed at? Raising my boys? Loving my husband? Maybe those are more like responsibilities. I don't get a high five for doing that, because obviously, I would do that. I love my boys, I love my husband. Lots of people do that- love their family. But where am I aiming? What does my life say about me?

I know what I want it to say.

It is one thing to give of your abundance. And in America, we all pretty much have abundance. A fully stocked grocery store every five miles- that is abundance. To give as an American takes a bit more...

As Christians, our entire LIFE is to be our offering. What Christian can honestly say they give their entire life? I don't know a single one.

When Cain and Abel gave their offerings, look how God reacted. Cain gave out of abundance. Not much effort, not much sacrifice was required. He had five bucks and gave God one or two. Now Abel, he gave til it hurt. Brought out the very best, and when the best was gone, he gave the rest. He had five bucks and gave all five plus an iou for later. When we give, we are showing not only our love, but our faith. If you measured your love and faith by how much you sacrificed, gave to God or to others(which is giving to God, as well)- how would you measure up? Seriously. Look at the faith you think you have, and then look at the faith you demonstrate. Where is your faith located? In your mind/heart, or in your actions? Truly, if it is in your heart, as Jesus says, shouldn't it flow to your actions??? And if it doesn't, well...what does that say about the faith you think you have? This is what James is talkin' bout when he says Faith without Works is dead. Bam. Bam-a-lam.



I love Jesus. LOVE Him. I want to follow Him with all of me, not just the part I think I can spare. One Sunday a week. A Wednesday night each week and maybe a once-a-month type thing. No. I have to be living this with my entire existence, not some partitioned-off section. This should be my complete being. My entire self. Lifted up to God as my offering. That- all that- doesn't come close to what He deserves for all He is, but anything less than all of me is...not even on the fringe of the edge of worthy, even thought no part of me could be worthy.

Am I making any kind of sense? The time has come to stop the excuses. I belong to Christ- all of me, not part. If I live my life in any other way, what does that say about my God? What does that say about me to God?

I titled this blog a while ago- it's good old Mary's verse, a verse I love and adore for it's simple faith and humility. And it is how I long to live my life, and how I yearn to exist from every moment forward...I am the Lord's servant. Let it be to me as you have said..." or will say. Make me into something you can fill, Lord. Use me for Your good Will. My life is my offering, all I have to give, but I give it with great joy and the expectation that You will use it for Your glory. All glory to God in Jesus' name!

Brain for rent

Swoosh. And there goes another thought process...whether it be a moment of rationalization, calculation of damage, whatever. Maybe some self-loathing mixed in there, a little thought projection into other people's brains. Then we'll do some pleading with God. Mix that up with some of the devil's lies, and we've got a nice simmer going now.

Whoever you are, wherever you are, whatever you may have said to me in the past, whether ten minutes ago or ten years, it is stuck in my head, and just as relevant now as it was then. Why do I hang on to such junk? Believe me, it isn't voluntary.

Whoever you are, wherever you are, I will process you into my head a dozen times over, and from the responses I have gleaned from you for whatever stupid thing that doesn't really matter, I will have a clone of you in my head, with which to project your possible thoughts of me. Your opinion of me, whatever it may truly be, well, sorry, I'm way ahead of you. I've already got your opinion of me, and just try to change my mind.

This makes things rather difficult, don't you think? That question is addressed to You, God. How did I get this way and how on Your Green Earth are you going to delete this mish mash of garbage? I am a finely tuned machine at this point. The thing of it is, it doesn't even feel like self pity or self loathing. I've embraced it all as truth. I know it is a lie, but it still feels like the gosh darn truth. If I held both up in the mirror, I wouldn't know which was which. Which self is real? Is there even a real self in there? And if so, she is such a stranger that I wouldn't know what to do with her. Better/easier to give over to God, I suppose, but she's got to dig herself out of this first.

Oh, I could let this ebb away like it usually does, this weird, time-sucking brain world of mine, she usually slows down and allows me to file back into wherever it is I am. No forward motion, of course, but not really backward, either. I could let time pass and find my way back to where I usually go, but...

I know that's not what you want, God. Apparently, unbeknownst to me, I am gripping my life and self with iron hands. Spirit, as I understand you, you've got the ability to change me, but I'm not quite sure what I need to do to get that process started. Besides the constant pleading, praying...

I have no idea who this person is, God. The me that you have made. I feel like a huge illusion, a huge pile of names and identities and emotional garbage just plopped down into this skin. There is nothing of reality within me. Save for you, Jesus. But even that...is it possible that you too are an illusion- not an illusion in reality, for I know that You Are, but Are You within me? Or is that just another mask on the pile?

How can I even move an inch in the right direction if I don't even know that? Is this lack of faith? Must I have some substantiated reality to hold on to? Other people don't. Am I some kind of freak? Yeah, don't answer that question.

I know the Truth. I feel the Truth. But I have not been submerged with in it. I am not drowning in it, and I want to be. What a metaphor for baptism. Would it be that simple, God? Would the substantiated evidence that my head requires be that simple? Is my brain that tangled that I need proof for my proof? Am I so Gideon?

And yet, as my fingers move across the keyboard, the electricity that caused this thought train has gone. I'm back to projecting. Back to fighting my own thoughts for breath. Back to being but not being. I just want to be, but I want to Be Yours, Lord. But I suppose you won't have me til I crumble. Crush me, God. Please. Please. Please. Please.

I don't want to fight, yet it is what I do.

I am not unlike most people- I enjoy having the right answer. I enjoy it when my advice is the right advice. I like to know the most about a particular subject. Why? Yeah, not so sure about that, ironically.

I am super-ultra-mega stubborn. If that were a super-power, well, yeah- I'd be a super hero. Sometimes, in the midst of an argument or friendly debate, I amaze myself- I am truly stunned at how bull-headed and ridiculously unbending I am.

Why does any of this matter, you ask? Well, I am a Christian. To "be" that, the very description requires submission, surrender, and sacrifice of oneself- one's selfishness. So, every day I try to wake up and be a follower, be a person in which the Spirit can dwell and work- well, it's a war zone.

I am a giant electro-magnet, my stubborness and general ass-like demeanor have me stuck fast where I am, and every morning, I fall on my knees and wrench my soul away and try to toss it up to the Holy Spirit. "Here! Get it quick! Before it gets yanked back by the super-magnet! Quick! Get it and RUNNNNNN!"

I don't really know how it's going. I mean, some days I think the Spirit does have a good hold and He can get some stuff done. Other days He no sooner gets a grip than I suck it back and go about doing things the Sara way. Which really disgusts me. I wonder if other people are disgusted with themselves.

Ah well. And we go on.

Cookier Cutter God? No thank you.

I know a lot of Christians, and I know a lot of non-Christians. The Christians that I know can be broken down further into sub-groups, like those that go to church on Sunday, but live pretty much without God during their work week. There are the Christians that don't go to a church, but know a lot about Biblical stuff, but maybe don't think it's absolutely required for everyday life. There are also simple Christians, which are the sort that I enjoy hanging around with, who look to the Bible nearly every single day for guidance and directions on how to live their moment-to-moment life. These Christians belong to my church, and they are striving to make Christ number ONE, truly, in everything- to the point where they will tithe before they pay a bill. To the point where they will trust the prayers and faith of their fellow Christian church family members over the skill of a surgeon.

Ok, that sounds really hokey to a lot of you. I'm not saying that instead of surgery, someone would just have the church pray over them. No. You have the prayer, and you have the surgery, and when the doctors come out of that surgery puzzled, because the thing they went in to fix was...already fixed, well, there you go.

I want to be as simple a Christian as possible. Not simple-minded, but simple in Faith. I want to live my life as closely as possible to the life that Jesus lead. I want to be like the early church- gathering together, taking care of each other, worshipping, learning, growing the Kingdom of God so that when the tough times come, people will look to us and see, yes, God is real, and He is here, represented by His people.

Representing God isn't easy. First of all, you have to love like God. He left heaven, came to earth, suffered, and then died a horrible death, all for a bunch of selfish, single-minded folks...well, us. He loved us even though we spit on Him.

Another tough thing about representing God is this: Even though we may feel differently, we need to agree with His goodness. Even if it feels wrong to us. We must hold on to integrity with both hands, and not let our faulty feelings sway us. Lose friends. Lose family. Ouch. But look at all the people God is losing! He cannot change who he is- and why would you want Him to? When you build your home, you don't build it on a fault line. You don't build it on soggy sand that will move and shift. You build it on an immovable surface. Immovable!! The same yesterday, today, and tomorrow. That is God.

If you believe in God, but falter when it comes to who He is- what God are you believing in? One that you crafted yourself? That agrees with you in all things? What are the chances that God is real? We cannot mold God into who we want Him to be, because He is, and that is that.

That is a very difficult way to live. To love a God with all your heart, all your mind, and all your soul - a God that deserves that kind of love, no doubt- wow, that is hard. It's easy sometimes, but other times...When I feel like God is being mean. Is God really being mean? Or am I just misunderstanding his goodness, his holiness? Yeah. That's what's going on. No doubt.

The bottom line is, I believe in the God of the Bible. The God of Israel, Jesus Christ, the Holy Spirit. The One and Only God. I believe in Him, as He is, not as how I want Him to be. If you think that makes me naive or less intelligent than you, well, fine. I suppose I can be seen as an idiot for God. It's hard to KNOW that something is TRUE, yet all the proof you have is your life. I suppose that is why I am diving further and further into my Faith- becoming only Sara the Christian. When the people that know me...see me again, well, what will they see? I hope and pray they see the Truth- the True God, True Salvation, and True Life, all within me and working in this world. Please, let them see that!!

I am the Lord's Servant. Let it be to me as the Lord wills.

Let's play pros-cons with the candidates.

McCain:
Pros:
Supposedly a fiscal conservative (George Bush was supposed to be this, as well, but um, he's NOT.)
Supposedly a moral conservative (you can talk the talk, but if you don't DO anything about it, seriously, who cares where you stand.)
Sarah Palin (see previous entry for why this is a pro.)
Not Obama (and this is the best thing he has going for him.)

Cons:
He is essentially Bush III.
The Iraq war will go on and on and on and on and on and on.....
Who knows what other war he's going to get us into
He's old and robot-like.
He's a 35 year political veteran, which = career politician, which me no likey. Get a real job.
He's Boooooooring.


Ok, now Obama:
Pros:
He's young, fresh, new, hip, idealistic (if you share his ideals).
He's definitely not Bush III
He wants us out of Iraq, totally, by 2010.
He'd have the power to get things accomplished (whether good or bad) because of the Democratic majority.

Cons:
I don't share his moral ideals when it comes to abortion, guns, "spreading the wealth".
Did I mention "spreading the wealth"?
Socialism is lovely in concept, but not truly functional in flawed-humanity type government.
He could just be Clinton II, and no, I don't see that as a good thing.
He's half white- yeah, sorry, but to me, that doesn't make his being elected "historical" in any way. It's like electing Morgan Freeman. Everybody likes Morgan Freeman, black, white, Asian, whatever.
Nobody wants to talk about Ayers or Rev. Wright, and I seriously don't care, either, but if I ignore them and they turn out to be Obama's bffffffs? I will be pissed.
His goals, while wonderful, are awfully lofty. If he doesn't come through...well, I hold a grudge. Want proof? If I ever saw George Bush Sr. out doing whatever old people do, I'd throw an Arby's roast beef at his head and say, "That's for Operation Desert Storm, you MORON!"

Ok, now just for fun, let's do RON PAUL:

Pros:
He's an Obstetrician! A baby doctor! I love babies!! Read: Not a career politician!
He'd abolish the federal reserve.
He'd abolish the IRS
He'd get rid of Roe v. Wade and let each State decide on abortion.
He'd get us out of Iraq and EVERY other foreign country ASAP.
He'd close up our borders TIGHT.
He'd repeal the Patriot Act
He'd end the War on Drugs
He'd get rid of budget-sucking waste like the Department of Agriculture, Education, Environment- if every state has one, why do we need a federal one? We DON'T!
He'd restore the Constitution and get rid of the excessive/abusive executive powers that George W. Bush created after 9-11
He'd get rid of the federal income tax
He'd get rid of unfair tarifs/trade deals with China and other countries that exploit their own people to make $$$
He'd restore the USA to her sovereign glory and we'd no longer police the world or prop up the world with our "endless" aid money.
He's not a member of the CFR or any of those other One-world government organizations.
The man GIVES BACK his government pension money! Come on! You gotta love this man!!!
The media made it their mission to ignore him- that should be a sign, people. Ron Paul is EXACTLY WHAT THIS COUNTRY NEEDS!!

Cons:
Hmmmm...he is up there in years.
Uh....I can't really think of anything else...
Let's face it, Ron Paul is what this country needs, but the American people are too blinded by shiny-things and pied-piper politicians that they won't see past the glare on Obama or McCain's foreheads. Too bad. I'm so sad for this country and her jaded, quick-fix, let's go get drunk, average American people.


So, who am I voting for on Tuesday? Like it matters. They've chosen for us, all you naive people that think you are going to vote for your hero. Ah, to be a child again. I wish I hadn't taken the red pill. Or did I take the blue? Eh, I don't know, I'm not that into the Matrix imagery.

Sarah Palin: My new superhero??

Ok, ok. My title is suggesting that I am a fan of McCain/Palin or something. So not true. Let me clarify.
I like Sarah Palin. So sue me. Perhaps it's because she's good looking, wears nerdy-cool glasses like me, has lots of kids...well, we've got a lot in common, I guess. I like her, but as far as her being vp? Yeah, I don't know. Not so crazy bout that. More for the fact that McCain would be prez. in order for her to be vp.

I realize this is kind of bizarre considering my utter distaste for both candidates, my firm belief that they are sooooo much the same that voting for one is just like voting for the other, so whatever. But maybe Sarah Palin has some kind of voodoo mojo thing going on that she just makes people enjoy her. I'll admit it, I want to be her friend.

Moreover, I want her to be what she is pretending to be. Recently, she has challenged the McCain camp, coming out against him in a few areas. I actually disagree with some of those areas (constitutional ban on gay marriage- uh, no, let's let it up to the states, like the constitution says!) but the fact that she is coming out against them??? Wow. I see McCain as George Bush, and I see the whole senate/government as a big club of rich a-holes that are planning destruction in order to set up the NWO. Call me a conspiracy nut job, I don't care. So, for Sarah Palin to come out and kind of thumb her nose at that ultra-powerful establishment? The girl has cahones. I want to encourage her. "You do it, Sarah! America ain't fallin' for the bull crap that they want to make you spew! You do your own thing, the American people are screaming for honesty! We want real people! Not stiff suits! Come on! Step out and be faithful to the American people and we will be faithful to YOU!!"

Even as I say that my cynicism wants to stifle me. The American public are nothing more than a bunch of lazy ipod wearing wii playing football watching beer guzzling morons who don't know anything about anything. Anything that matters, anyway.

I had a dream about Sarah Palin, ok. That's where all of this is coming from. I had a dream that this country had dissolved into a war of McCainites vs. Obamaites. Seriously. We were shooting each other, and someone had released vicious trained dinosaurs out to devour us. I was on the McCain side, only because of my moral ideals. They made us fight, even us women! Our fearless commander McCain booked it out of our bunker when the crap really started to fall, and he put Palin in charge of us. He ran away, basically, to save his own wrinkly hiney. I worked my way up to Palin and was like, "What the heck? Where is he going? Isn't he going to lead us through this? Isn't he going to help us defeat the evil?" And she was like, "Oh, no. I was wrong. He's not a Maverick. He's actually playing both sides. He wants us to lose. He told me to hold this position until we are overtaken."
I was shocked as she said this. "Are you kidding me??? You're going to follow those orders? Have you no integrity? Is this what you want??" She replied sadly, "No, of course not. I want my family to have a real future, but what can I do? Nobody is going to listen to me."
I scoffed. "Are you kidding me? We're all here. We want the same thing that you do. You say the word and we will follow you as you charge this bull crap. If you want to take this crap down and WIN, we will be right by your side." And, we did. In the weird violence that ensued, Palin got knocked out and I had to drag her into some weird elevator and we had to hide from one of the Democratic Velociraptor monsters that was hunting us, and we agreed to leave the violence and help each other find our babies...as you can see, this is where it becomes more like one of my normal dreams.

I don't know what all that means. It means I want Sarah Palin to be a hero, I want her to stand up against the status quo like Ron Paul. But will it happen, fat chance.

frustrated with comic geeks!!!

Ok, so there is a line of Fisher Price toys out, the DC SuperFriends- these chunky, cute action figures for little toddlers. They also have a Marvel version, Spiderman and Friends, but my son prefers DC characters (hey, I let him make up his own mind, even if he does end up having less-than-satisfactory taste!!) So, like the good geek that I am, I check out ebay for these toys, because they are few and far between in the stores.

Yeah, wanna know why? Because ultra-geeks that live in their mother's basements and collect ANY toy based on ANY comic character, even if it is a PRESCHOOL toy- well, they buy them all up and keep them in their packaging, sitting on their geek shelves collecting dust. HELLO!!

Look, I have a 3 year old and a 1 year old. They both enjoy superheroes. My 1 year old already roars and smashes his fist like the Hulk. I'm so proud. But I can't be spending $40.00 on a VHTF MOC Hawkman figure! That's "veryhardtofind mintoncard" for you non-geeks out there. Seriously though. You are insane, geeks of the world. Just so you know.

Elekshun 08

Alright, folks. I'va bout had it with this junk. Srsly. It's got me all worked up that I'm writin' in txt speak. I want to bang my head against a wall for the next few weeks or so, until this circus has run its course. Srsly.

Here is the bottom-bottom, absolute zero, lcd, pit of the chasm line:

McCain is an old, fudderly, elitist geezer. He's done in my opinion. Ain't got a chance.
Palin, while she is very nice to look at and is fun to listen to when she's not saying the words "Maverick" or "Alaska", well, she's just that and only that. Good lookin', sassy, but not presidential material. Go home and focus on raising your infant, that sounds like a good idea to me, but you know, what do I know, I'm only the mother of two children myself.

Obama, folks, you just love him, don't you. He's black. He's young and hip. He looks like and talks like the hero you want. But, unfortunately, what you are falling for is the Anakin Skywalker syndrome. He's lookin' good right now, but once things get-a-goin, BAM! We's got Darth Vader in the White House. You think I'm jokin'? We'll see in 4 years. Because he's going to win, and then you all will be like, "Yaaay!" and then stuff will start totally sucking, and you'll be like, "I'm so confused" and we'll all say, "Duh, Obama is an a-hole" and you'll be like, "No, he's perfect in every possible way, it must be someone else's fault, let's find someone else to blame because Obama is so handsome and cool and hip and perfect...." And then we'll all be like, "Sigh. You are still dumb. I'm moving to the middle of nowhere to get away from you collassal morons that vote for morons and think there is actually a difference between McCain and Obama. Once again, THERE IS NO SIGNIFICANT DIFFERENCE. And when I say that, I mean in the effect they will have on this country. Their goals are actually very much the same. Obliterate us as a nation and get the whole one-world government thing on the move. Duh, people. Duh.


DUH!!!

Well, this stinks.

All I can say is, to those idiots trying to place blame on either the Democrats or Republicans, ya'll are dumb. Seriously, how are you even breathing? Politicians are exactly the same. The blame belongs with the Fed, an independent corporation, in case you didn't know. The Fed is about as Federal as my butt. Thomas Jefferson's worst nightmare is coming true. Well, lets all hope Jesus is on his way!

'The World As We Know It Is Going Down'
By Marc Pitzke in New York
Panic is the word of the hour on Wall Street. Now even Morgan Stanley is fighting for survival. The commercial bank Wachovia and China's Bank Citic are being discussed as possible rescuers. The crisis has led President Bush to cancel a trip.




REUTERS
For traders, now might just be the worst of times.The original plan actually called for humor. On Wednesday evening, actress Christy Carlson Romano was supposed to ring the closing bell on the floor of the New York Stock Exchange (NYSE) to mark her debut in the Broadway musical "Avenue Q." She plays two roles on stage -- a romantic kindergarten assistant, and a slutty nightclub singer.
After that day on the floor, the stock traders could have used a bit of comic relief. But it was not to be. Instead of Christy Carlson Romano, a NYSE employee in a joyless gray suit stood on the balcony and silently pressed a button. The bell rang and he disappeared. No waving, no clapping, none of the usual jubilation.
By the end of Wednesday, no one here was in the mood for laughter. The bad news on Wall Street was coming thick and fast. All the US indexes were crashing again after Tuesday's brief and deceptive breather. In its wild, rollercoaster ride, the Dow Jones lost about 450 points, which was almost as much as it lost on Monday, the most catastrophic day on US markets since 2001.
Investors were turning their back to the market in droves and fleeing to safer pastures. The price of gold broke its record for the highest increase in a one-day period.
Panic Is the Word of the Hour
Traders abandoned the NYSE temple visually defeated and immune to the TV crews waiting. The disastrous closing prices were flickering on the ticker above the NYSE entrance: American Express -8.4 percent; Citigroup -10.9 percent; JPMorgan Chase -12.2 percent. American icons, abused like stray dogs. Even Apple took a hit.
REPRINTS
Find out how you can reprint this SPIEGEL ONLINE article in your publication. "I don't know what else to say," stammered one broker, who was consoling himself with white wine and beer along with some colleagues at an outdoor bar called Beckett's. Ties and jackets were off, but despite the evening breeze, you could still make out the thin film of sweat on his forehead. His words captured the speechlessness of an industry.
Things got worse after the markets closed. Washington Mutual, America's fourth-largest bank, announced that it had started the process of putting itself up for sale. The Wall Street Journal reported that both Wells Fargo and the banking giant Citigroup were interested in taking over the battered American savings bank.
And then came the announcement that would dominate all of Thursday's market activities: Morgan Stanley -- the venerable Wall Street institution and one of the last two US investment banks left standing -- had lost massive amounts and was fighting for survival. Media reports were saying that it was even in talks about a possible bail-out or merger. Rumor had it that possible suitors might include Wachovia or China's Bank Citic.
China?
"Folks," economist Larry Kudlow, a host on the business channel CNBC begged his viewers that evening, "don't give up on this great country!"
End of an Era
In fact, it really does look as if the foundations of US capitalism have shattered. Since 1864, American banking has been split into commercial banks and investment banks. But now that's changing. Bear Stearns, Lehman Brothers, Merrill Lynch -- overnight, some of the biggest names on Wall Street have disappeared into thin air. Goldman Sachs and Morgan Stanley are the only giants left standing. Despite tolerable quarterly results, even they have been hurt by mysterious slumps in prices and -- at least in Morgan Stanley's case -- have prepared themselves for the end.
"Nothing will be like it was before," said James Allroy, a broker who was brooding over his chai latte at a Starbucks on Wall Street. "The world as we know it is going down."
Many are drawing comparisons with the Great Depression, the national trauma that has been the benchmark for everything since. "I think it has the chance to be the worst period of time since 1929," financing legend Donald Trump told CNN. And the Wall Street Journal seconds that opinion, giving one story the title: "Worst Crisis Since '30s, With No End Yet in Sight."
But what's really happening? Experts have so far been unable to agree on any conclusions. Is this the beginning of the end? Or is it just a painful, but normal cycle correcting the excesses of recent years? Does responsibility lie with the ratings agencies, which have been overvaluing financial institutions for a long time? Or did dubious short sellers manipulate stock prices -- after all, they were suspected of having caused the last stock market crisis in July.
The only thing that is certain is that the era of the unbridled free-market economy in the US has passed -- at least for now. The near nationalization of AIG, America's largest insurance company, with an $85 billion cash infusion -- a bill footed by taxpayers -- was a staggering move. The sum is three times as high as the guarantee provided by the Federal Reserve when Bear Stearns was sold to JPMorgan Chase in March.
The most breathtaking aspect about this week's crisis, though, is that the life raft -- which Washington had only previously used to bail out the mortgage giants Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac -- is being handed out by a government whose party usually fights against any form of government intervention. The policy is anchored in its party platform.
"I fear the government has passed the point of no return," financial historian Ron Chernow told the New York Times. "We have the irony of a free-market administration doing things that the most liberal Democratic administration would never have been doing in its wildest dreams."
Bush Cancels Trip
The situation appears to be so serious that George W. Bush cancelled two domestic trips he had planned for Thursday on short notice. Instead, the president will remain in Washington to discuss the "serious challenges confronting US financial markets." He said the president remained focused on "taking action to stabilize and strengthen the markets." Bush had originally planned to travel to events in Florida and Alabama.
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So far, the US presidential candidates have made few helpful remarks about the crisis other than the usual slogans. Both are vaguely calling for "regulation" and "reform" -- bland catchphrases almost universally welcomed with applause.
Republican Party presidential candidate John McCain had the most to say. On Monday, he said "the foundation of our economy" was "strong," adding that he opposed a government-led bailout of US insurer AIG. But now he's promising further government steps "to prevent the kind of wild speculation that can put our markets at risk." McCain's explanation for the current crisis: "unbridled corruption and greed."
But Democratic presidential hopeful Barack Obama didn't move past superficialities, either. "We're Americans. We've met tough challenges before and we can again."
What else are they supposed to say? After all, US presidents have very little influence on stockmarkets. And Wall Street is expecting the status quo for the next president. On Wednesday an almost palpable mix of tension and melancholy filled the air above New York's Financial District. The beloved trader bar Bull Run was half empty, and many tables were free at fine-dining establishments like Cipriani, Mangia and Bobby Van's, which are normally booked days in advance.
At the side entrance to Goldman Sachs on Pearl Street, limo chauffeurs sat waiting for their customers, still above in their office towers cowering over the accounts. "If they go under," said Rashid Amal, who works as a chauffeur for a firm called Excelsior, "then I will soon be out of a job, too."

Crash, Boom, Bang

I do not understand economics. I believe when we were supposed to be learning the GDP and GNP type of stuff in high school, I was probably doodling stuff in my notebook, because I just don't do well if numbers are involved. So, right now, with all this stuff going on in the economy and on Wall Street, I'm pretty puzzled, but nonetheless concerned.

Dr. Ron Paul is very good at explaining economics to the common American. He is an expert, I'd say. THE expert. And right now, I am pretty worried about what he is talking about. We all know our country is in debt. Heck, we can all go watch School House Rock and see the Dinosaur Debt eating the capitol building. We know it exists. But do we care? Do we even understand what the heck any of this means?

Gas prices are ridiculous. People are talking about finding alternative fuels or drilling our own oil, but if you are paying attention, that isn't going to really help us out. Gas is expensive because the dollar is worth less. We MAKE these Middle East countries sell their oil in dollars, rather than another currency. That's pretty obvious to everyone, isn't it? Or is this another thing that most common American citizens really have no idea about, because they are too busy texting people or downloading crappy music to ther ipod?

This is my point I guess- We are circling the drain hole, folks. If you pay the least bit of attention, and then maybe do a little research, watch some youtube videos, some BBC news reports- some news shows that aren't corrupt and working for our government. You'll see a very different story unfolding. I'm not so much afraid of what is going to happen financially, but I am more afraid of what our country- the types of people that we have become- I am afraid of our reaction. And after that reaction, comes the government's reaction. THAT, my friends is what it's all going to come down to.

Stay aware- pay attention, and please, please, let down your guard for Christ and only Christ to affect you. Do not be fooled by this world. Any Christian that knows their Bible is not shocked by these coming events. We are prepared, and we are not afraid. Jesus is all that matters. You cannot hold on to your home, you cannot hold on to your money, you cannot even hold on to your family. The only thing there is, in all of reality, in all of time, space, and beyond- there is only, only, only JESUS. Please, let the scales fall away from your eyes. Understand that nothing in this world is eternal. Everything will fade. If you do not have Jesus, you have nothing. Please, find Him. He is right there, waiting for you to find Him. Find Him before the crap hits the fan, so you won't be as troubled.

Alright, I am sorry for that, but it truly is all that matters, and in that case, I'm not sorry for that. But, I just want to be sure you have all heard what needs to be heard. Nothing else will stand up to what is coming, only Christ. And I'm not some doomsday nutjob. I don't know what is coming, but whether it is something major, or something small and only slightly uncomfortable, I know that still, Jesus is the only possible light in any darkness.

Ok, so watch. Watch and be faithful to Christ- do the works set out for you by God, use your gifts. Help plant seeds so the harvest will be many.

Obama Admits He’s a Muslim; ABC Covers For Him: A diatribe by Michael Savage
“…it’s a choice between someone who shot rockets at our enemies in battle and someone who shot staples into a telephone pole.”
"Over the weekend, Barack Hussein Obama went on the television show of former Clinton press secretary George Stephanopoulos. And in doing so, he revealed himself in a way that the liberal media has refused to do since he started running for president. In a supposed “slip of the tongue,” Obama referred to his “Muslim faith,” once and for all exposing the truth about his Muslim past. A truth that all the party apparatchiks and all the liberal talking heads in all America haven’t been able to cover up. Some say it was a Freudian Slip. I say it was a Mohammadan Slip.
Perhaps the most disgusting part of this entire incident is the fact that as soon as Obama had said the words “Muslim faith,” the Democrat lackey George Stephanopoulos stepped in to help him. The words “Muslim faith” came so naturally to him that Obama didn’t bother to correct himself. Stephanopoulos immediately jumped in and said, “Christian faith.” The left protects its own.
The question is this: How did he get this far? How did a Muslim stealth candidate manage to become the anointed candidate of one of the two major parties in the United States of America? The answer is the collusion of the Communist media. The media covered up this inconvenient truth about Barack Hussein Obama because it did not fit into their storyline of the heroic black presidential candidate who would save America from its evil racist past. The media used his race as an excuse to support him and refused to look any deeper than that.
Even today, when this is the only story worth talking about, the media refuse to give it any attention. CNN talks about the weather. FOX talks about O.J. And MSNBC talks about itself. But I will talk about this story. I will play the clip of this Mohammadan Slip again and again and again until America realizes that it is too dangerous to vote for Barack Hussein Obama. I will play this clip until America realizes that it’s a choice between an ex-Navy pilot and a community activist. I will play this clip until America realizes it’s a choice between someone who shot rockets at our enemies in battle and someone who shot staples into a telephone pole. America has a choice, and it must not choose Barack Hussein Obama. "

And now Sara's response:

Normally, I love everything Michael Savage has to say. He is obnoxious, slightly egotistical, and very, very brash. He makes me laugh, he makes me shake my head in apathic disgust. However, with this whole Obama thing, he's just missing everything.

Don't get me wrong, he's right on about Obama being a "stealth" Muslim. You don't have to be a crazy right-wing Fascist to see that, or perhaps maybe you do. I don't know. It seems pretty darn obvious to me, but then again, there is that whole Liberalism is a Mental Disorder thing.

What Dr. Savage misses is this: John McCain is exactly the same as Barack Obama. Sure, they have different skin color, are different ages, and talk about things differently, but when it comes down to actually getting in office and running things? It will all lead to the same outcome. The demise of America.

Now, perhaps I have gone completely off the deep end, or perhaps I am finally waking up. The state of government in this country has gone far, far beyond any fixing. I don't think I am alone in this thought, because of the hoardes of people who sprang to their feet in support of Ron Paul. He was speaking differently, and moreover, his voting record actually coincided with the things he said. Now, that was something new when it comes to politicians!!

I just wish the rest of the country would wake up. I don't care if you are as liberal as liberal can be- and I also don't care if you are Captain Conservative. Neither candidate is the right candidate. They are both the same, and it is this: CRAPPY.

Why don't people question the fact that we have only two choices? This is America! We should have lots of choices, just like we have in everything else! Lots of different cars! Lots of different cereals! Lots of different television channels! WHY, when it comes to running this whole entire country, do we have only TWO MEASLY, HORRID, SAD, and ultimately IDENTICAL choices???? It just ain't American.

So, Dr. Savage, I know you know what I'm talkin' bout. You know McCain is just like Obama. Although while Obama is a Muslim in disguise, McCain is a liberal Facist in disguise, if that is possible.

I'm sorry, I just want another choice. Another choice for real. I'm still voting for Ron Paul, and that's just that. I cannot vote for either of those other two idiots. My logic and reason won't let me.

The difference between what I feel and what I believe

I'm a girl. Therefore, my emotions are quite strong and are usually what lead me to action. In some instances, this is good, but in other situations, this is very bad.

When it comes to God and the Bible and my faith, I understand the differences between why I feel the way I feel and why I believe what I believe. For instance, I feel very strongly about child pornographers and pedophiles and the like. I want to castrate them and then strangle them with their own dismembered body part. I feel that they should be punished to the fullest extent of any punishment- forget the law. Drag them into the street and pull them apart limb from limb. Let them feel utter terror and helplessness and pain. LET THEM!! Now, that's how I feel. How does God feel? Well, there's no doubt he hates what is going on. He HATES it so much that he has planned a punishment for those who don't repent, (Change the way they THINK and ACT) and ask Jesus to bear their sin. The difference between what I feel and what God's will for these people is quite simple. He loves them- these putrid, horrible people, he actually loves them, as much as he loves anyone else. He really does. He does not like what they are doing, and he is aching for them to turn from it and scoop them up and give them all the grace they need. Sometimes, I admit, I hope they don't repent, and they get punished. It's as if I don't believe Jesus' sacrifice can cover that horrible, horrible sin they've committed. Whether I feel that it should or not, it CAN.

Another way I feel is this: gay marriage is wrong according to God, however, how do I feel about the whole thing, that's another story. I love being married, and I love my husband like crazy. Life without him would not be life at all. I am committed to him in the same way that I am committed to Christ. For it is through Christ that I am committed to my husband so strongly. I love Jesus, therfore I love my husband like mad!! I understand the feeling of love quite well, thank you. I would not try to take it from anyone, ever. To tell someone to stop loving another person- well, that's not only futile, it's cruel and stupid.

There is a fine line between love and lust- whether or not you feel there is a fine line or not, there is one. Because if you truly love someone, sex isn't going to come into the picture, or it can at least be completely taken out of the picture, and the love will still be there. It's not the loving someone that God is commanding us to abstain from. It's the sex. If two people of the same sex truly love each other and live together and create a life together- where is the harm in that?? There is none. The harm comes from sex. That is where all the problems lie. Specifically, careless sex- and that exists in both homo- and hetero-sexual people. So, to single out the gay community as being immoral simply because their adulterous pre-marital sex is with someone of the same gender, that's just hypocritical. Any sex outside of marriage is adultery, and gay marriage, according to the Bible and it's specific terms of marriage, is not possible- regardless of how we FEEL about it.

So, why do people get all in a tizzy over gay marriage? Well, I have an inkling, a pretty good one, actually, being on the inside of the fundamental Christian side. God gets pretty specific when he talks about what marriage means, as I said before. Marriage is for His glory and only His glory. We've been mistaken in thinking it was for OUR happily ever after. Sure, that is a part of it, but not the MAIN part. Because of the way marriage was created, and because sex was created for within the specific boundaries of marriage, anything that does not follow God's original plan just doesn't fly. We may not like it, being the human-minded, well, humans that we are, but Truth is Truth is Truth. We'll all get it one day, but for now, we'll either believe it, regardless of how we FEEL, or we'll rebel against it and do what we want.

I would just like those folks screaming against gay marriage to realize what they sound like. And I would also like those folks who are for gay marriage to realize what those other folks are screaming about. Christians should not be out to condemn anyone. Our job is to let people know God's wonderful and beautiful gift of Jesus Christ. Once we've spoken that truth, it's up to God. OUR next duty is to LOVE and BLESS. And Christ is not specific about WHO- so we are to LOVE and BLESS everyone, regardless of what they choose to believe or feel. And that is the Truth.

A Fervor in my Head...

Or, why Christianity easily trumps Buddhism, hands down.

Alright, so if you know your Buddhism, you know that there are two major types of Buddhism, a Liberal one and a Conservative one. I don't know which is which, but I do know that they are very different: One proclaims the deity of the Buddha and requires strict adherence to a certain set of principles, the 8 fold path and so on. The other is more of a philsophy than a religion, and doesn't claim that the Buddha was a god, but merely an enlightened person. Ok, very well. There are lots of different sects of Christianity, too, but the fundamental part of Christianity remains the same in all of them, even Catholicism: Christ is the Messiah, and he is our Savior, he died in our stead, and if we accept him and what he did, and agree to repent (change the way we think and act) and confess to God the sins we have committed (on an on-going basis), we will be given (free, as in it's a gift) eternal life WITH God in heaven. A+, super. Let's go.

But here is the thing. Buddhism is a very respectable way of life, in that it teaches certain moral ideals- do no harm, that sort of thing. However, all the good works and volunteer type of stuff you are doing as a Buddhist is to get yourself closer to enlightenment, whether you are a kharma believer or not. The end goal is rather self-centered. You do the good things, sure, but you do them to make yourself better in the long run.

Now, stay with me here. Christianity may seem to be the same in that respect, but it is not. There is NOTHING we can do, ever, no deed, no act that we can do that will save our souls. Aside from the confessing/repentance/believing in Christ thing, of course. But that is where it ends. This is complicated, and it has take me this long to figure it all out, shame on me, but my mind is literally tingling with the logic of it all.

There is a well-known quote from the book of James in the Bible that goes like this: Faith without works is dead. For the longest time, I had no clue what that really, really meant. But here it is. As I said previously, Buddhists do their good deeds because that is what is required of them if they want to advance to nirvana. Or whatever. That way of life is necessary. Now, Christians need to confess and repent and believe that Christ died for us, and that He is the reason we will get to heaven, and no other. Now, repent means to change the way we think and act. Align yourself with Christ- do as he did, speak as he spoke, love as he loved- and forego all the things of this world as best you can. This alone does not save you, but only Christ, who lived the perfect life for us- He saves us. We ultimately screw up again and again, so it's a good thing, too. Now, as far as good works and faith? It is by this faith in Christ that we are saved. "But oh," you say, "what about all this repenting and loving thy neighbor and stuff? Aren't those 'works'??" Yeah, but they still don't save us.

You see, faith is not a tangible thing. You can't pick it up and toss it around with a buddy. You can't pour it in a glass and sip it. You can't grab it to your chest and hold on to it for dear life. So, how do we know we have it? Or, more importantly, how does GOD know we have it??? If you are a follower, a believer in Christ, you are a different human being. A new creation. And because of your newness, you should act differently- not because it just happens, but because you WANT to. You've just been given a infinitely huge bowl of ice cream, and an infinite number of spoons- what are you going to do?? If you truly believe that there is a huge bowl of ice cream just ready to be inhaled...aren't you going to start handing out those spoons??? It is definitely what Jesus would do. So there.

I realize that is a kind of bizarre illustration, but hey, I'm bizarre. The point is hopefully clear. Because of what we have in Christ, we should be acting kindly, being forever patient, helpful in all measure of crisis and tragedy, caring, and steadfast. Not because that is what is required if we want in on heaven and eternal life. No. But because it is what our faith ultimately brings forth out of us. What does light do? It lights up a room. What does salt do? It makes things salty. We must get out there into this world of darkness and this world of dullness, and we must show our faith, proclaim it!

This is it, folks. One life. Buddhists, you can toil away at your requirements for a good life, or you can open your heart and mind to the one Truth, and start to live, really LIVE.

Christians, show your faith. Love...LOVE....LOVVVVEEE!!!

In my head today...

We are pondering emotions. For instance, the emotional submission you must give in to when you realize you need Jesus. You know, I thought it was a once-and-done thing, like, that day I sucked up my pride and let the sobbing break out of my usual brick-like exterior. The day I admitted to being so messed up that Jesus and only Jesus was going to make something of me. I thought that was it.

I have learned in these past 4 years or so, that oh no. It is a continuing mission, this breakin' me down business. What is it the Bible calls it? Refining in fire. That's it.

So, I like to think about the woman in the Bible who is known as "the sinful woman"- and this is her story. Basically, she and her "sin," whatever that may be, are well known by the locals. It ain't no secret that this lady is trash, I guess. In spite of all this, she searches out Jesus, and finds him having dinner in an up-and-up's house. Inside this house along with Jesus are some bigshots, some religious leaders, some political leaders, and then not to mention the fellas that Jesus has chosen as his personal squad. This woman still goes to this house, walks inside, kneels at Jesus' feet, and unbeknownst to him at first, she starts to wash his feet with expensive perfume, mixed with her tears, and then uses her hair to dry them. As icky as that sounds, if you put it in the context of the times, what a gesture, right? She comes in this house, pretty much like walking into a hornets nest, because she is well aware of her own reputation. She deals with the whispers she is hearing, the snickering, the scoffing- she goes and she breaks herself down in front of Jesus. Crying, focused only on Him and who He is, and what He represents. She lays it all down.

In this country today, we are lacking in sincere emotion. Unless it is a movie that is making you cry, we rarely cry-alone, perhaps we cry alone, but even amongst friends, most people are shut up tight. I know I am. My husband and my mom see my tears, but a few other people that I respect and love and need approval from? Heck no, I can't cry in front of them. I wonder if I would be able to do what the woman did, walk in amongst all those people that I know would be judging me, and break down like that. I really don't think so. But do I need to? Can I hold on to this stone-like exterior in front of these people, yet still be chisled out for Jesus? I'm not sure that can work. God's strength is made perfect in our weakness. So, how do I allow my weakness out for God to make into something huge and glorifying for His purposes...when I can't allow myself to break in front of ordinary people?

This is the struggle of the moment folks, to walk out in front of many people and just be an instrument of God, of His word. To not get in the way. To allow my faults to be part of who I am, part of the refining process that Jesus has started within me...I really need some kind of definite answer, but I know God isn't going to give me one until I step out in faith. Do what I need to do, yet let God control the doing. Ah, how complex it all is! It was so easy for Mary. All she had to do was have a baby. "I am the Lord's Servant, let it be to me as you have said," she says. Well, I am the Lord's Servant, and sure, let it be to me as you have said, but what are we letting be to me??? Can I get in on the plan so I can prepare myself? Luck favors the prepared, however, God favors the faithful and trusting, I suppose. Well, let's see what happens, for I know these things to be truth: "In all things, the Lord works for the good of those who love Him." and "I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." So, built on that rock, we mosey on down the road...

Sarah Palin

I'm sorry, who? Sarah who? Governor of what state? Seriously? Alaska? Oh, I see. That state we nicknamed Oil-land. Or Land of Lotsa-Oil. I see where you are goin' with this, McCain. Get her on your ticket, and then we can get her to call her friends in Alaska, and we can get started on digging for all that oil. Yeah. I see.

But seriously. A VP candidate just for oil? I don't get it. And I'm being silly, in case you haven't noticed. I don't care who John McCain picks for VP. He could have chosen like, his hand with a face drawn on it, called him Mr. Stinky-fingers, and it would be about the same as choosing this Sarah chick.

I'm sad to say it, but not really, B-Rock has got this thing locked, I think. People are so easily suckered in by this guy, he must be related to Hypno-toad or something, because he's so CHARISMATIC! (Imagine me saying that while wildly flailing my hands about the sides of my face, and you will get the jist of my sarcasm.) John McCain puts me to sleep and makes me yearn for a Steven Segal movie to watch. B-Rock makes my jaw numb from clenching my lips together in puzzled disgust. A Change we can Believe in? What change is it exactly? Please be specific when you are talking about change. Because some changes require a bit of thinking and planning. A sex change, for instance. That's a change I don't really believe in. For myself, that is. So, no thank you in that area. Now, a change in foreign policy?? That would be SUPER! Get us the HELL out of all those other countries. Now that's a change!! Is B-Rock on that one? Oh, no, no, wait. That's not B-rock. That's RON PAUL!! And how about economic policy?? Is he going to get rid of all these sucky and unconstitutional taxes that are destroying the middle class and ruining small business? Is he going to change our monetary policy, take power away from the Federal Reserve Company that owns this country, and help our dollar get it's value back?? Is that the change he is talking about??? Oh, no, it's not? That's not the positive change we can believe in that B-rock is foaming at the mouth about? That's RON PAUL's change?? Hmmm. That's interesting.

So, in reality, B-rock is talking about non-specific change that will amount to a heap of nothin', McCain isn't even trying to talk about any sort of change but is going to tow the Bush line straight into our demise, and well, Ron Paul is being heartily ignored by the media because if word got out, and it was understood by the masses, well, then we'd have our first president who can also deliver babies. That's multi-tasking. Just what this country needs.

We need a president who is going to really, actually make some change- BIG change. Not small change that really isn't change in any sort of sense, as in, you aren't going to feel it in your life, but you'll see it in the news and nod your head like, yeah, that's nice. NO.

1. We need to stop spending money in Iraq, and get the flippity flip out of there, NOW.
2. We need to find Osama Bin Laden and kill him, NOW.
3. We need to close our borders and make sure people are not getting in here illegally, NOW.
4. We need to balance this country's budget and take steps to correct our deficit, NOW.
5. We need to stop taxing people to death and take steps to get rid of income tax altogether, eventually.
6. We need to get rid of any amendments that overstep the jurisdiction of the states, like, um, Roe v. Wade.
7. We need to get rid of stupid big-government junk that doesn't do anything but spend money, we need to get people to take care of themselves at least a little bit, and not depend on government for every little thing, like uh, health care. You really want the idiots in Washington taking care of your medical needs?? Seriously? Give them a little bit of power, and they take it all. Haven't we learned this yet??? Hello, remember how Bush went to war with Iraq without getting Congress's approval? See how they just do what they want?? ALL of them, not just this GWB idiot. Or, no, they "do what they feel is right" and then we call them a maverick instead of a power hungry jerk doing whatever is best for his interests and the interests of his cronies. AAAAh! Let's listen to Thomas Jefferson! Let's scrap all the politicians we have now, and get all new ones!! Politics should not be a career. It should be a voluntary time of service to your country in which you are paid a modest, and when I say modest, I mean like, 30k a year, income. See how many jerks sign up to be a senator then. Bah! I hate them all!!!

Alright, now that I've got that out, I'll be ok. Until I accidentally turn on the tv to a news station and have to listen to their dumbness again. That's right. Dumbness. I'm going to sleep. Wake me up when the next moron is being sworn in to office.

They are both morons, people!! How can you NOT see this?? Are we all so wrapped up in our differences that we actually can't see we are being played?? Come ON! Liberal, Conservative- you know what, McCain and B-Rock are neither of those things. They are Libservatives, or Coniberals, if you will. They will not do anything to restore this country to our former glory. They will merely postpone our ultimate demise. Either of them. Larry or Curly. You choose, and it won't really make a difference, even though it seems like it is the difference between night and day. You have got the wool pulled tightly over your eyes, my friends. The next president is going to be a pud, and I can say this in all certainty, because regardless of who wins the election- they are both puds. The exact same level of pudness.

Oh I can't wait til this is over, seriously. No more passionate people rising up to support some idiot that doesn't deserve even the slightest bit of praise. What a waste of energy it all is. Not to mention money. Millions of dollars that could be used to say, fight poverty in this country, and it's used to put bumper stickers on people's cars, run the same frickin' commercial every 5 minutes, blow confetti out into a crowd...wow. Let's go read up on the fall of the Roman empire, and then be creeped out by what is happening in our country and how greatly it mirrors those last few decades of Rome. oooh, that sounds like fun.

Back in my big girl pants.

So, it has been a rough few months, what with two growing and busy boys running wild through my house, and putting said house on the market, having to keep it rather spotless at all times in case somebody wants to see the house...yeah. Takin' deep breaths. Waitin' on God.

But let's get right back to some good stuff. Politics? Honestly, I am so bored, so apathetic at this point that...seriously. Who cares. John McCain or B-rock Oblahma. Dumb and Dumber. They are like...well, I don't know what they are like, but whatever it is, it's boring, it's the same old same old junk, lies, BS, and political rhetoric that there has always been. Honestly. How can people seriously gravitate to either of these schmoes? The majority of Americans with any sort of brain power should be standing up and raising a fist like, "These are my choices??? Are you frickin' kidding me???" I refuse to vote for either of those idiots. And they are idiots. Both of them. Equally. I just make fun of Obama more because, well, his name is funny. And I am prejudiced of funny names.

What else we got here...well, gas is still expensive. I have a photo of a friend of mine pumping gas the summer I graduated from high school. You can see the total cost on the gas pump. 11 bucks. That's right. 10 years ago, gas was 99 cents a gallon. I'm not going to be a moron and be like, oooh, see, Clinton was president then, so we should thank him for such inexpensive gas. No. No, bad liberals! Clinton is not God! He is not even King of anything, nor Emperor of anything. Therefore, gas prices had nothing to do with him. So shut up right now. Just shut up about Clinton. Stop trying to lick his shoes. It will not heal your psoriasis. Just stop. And Hillary's nail clippings do not heal fungal infections or gout. Just stop it now. That's enough. Time to be normal people again. No more worshipping ugly Democrats.

Now I've gone and lost my train of thought. Not that I started out with an actual train of thoughts. But whatever it was, that which was causing me to type with fervor, well, it's gone. Oh, now I remember what it was. My general distaste and overall disdain for this election and the people that think it actually matters. Silly people. It's such a lovely show. Fun to wave our banners and cheer for some smiling idiot, but in the end, sigh. They've already chosen the next schmuck to "lead" this country. Pulling the strings and moving the puppets around. I'll just watch and roll my eyes a little bit.

So simple, so complicated.

I am apparently very easily drawn in to arguments with atheists. Probably for two reasons: First, I like to be right. And, since Atheists are very unfortunately wrong, I need to tell them what is right. Because I know I'm right, and because, well, I don't wish hell on anyone. Yeah. Hell is super bad. I hate Satan and all his evil so much, that I hope even the most horrible person will come to know Christ and we can all be like, HA! Satan, you suck! God can even redeem this horrible scum bag child rapist! That's power, dude. And the other reason I am drawn in to arguments? I think maybe, perhaps, just perhaps, God has given me an ability, a spiritual gift, I'm not sure which one it would be, discernment or another...anyway, he has given me an ability to speak to people without the tiniest shred of belief in God, and somehow get them to question that. Or maybe I'm just thinkin' a wee bit too highly of myself. Which happens.

It is very hard to argue with atheists without getting angry, and also without some kind of evidence or thought that will actually make them give a darn. Usually, atheists have heard the normal Christian rhetoric, and it's downright boring by that point. They need a new thought or idea that will actually take them a second or two to think up a plausible reply. And, I admit, likewise from me, a Christian. I want to hear some new stuff from atheists, too. Let's get really deep. Let's drag out some serious stuff. And I will do that soon, but right now I have an 8 month old little boy that is crawling at warp speed for the steps with a Nightcrawler action figure hanging out of his mouth...yeah, thats my life! Rocks, don't it? ...

More political mumbo jumbo

So, the sad day has arrived. Dr. Ron Paul has finally ceded to the mainstream media and political elite. He won't be president this time around. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm still gonna vote for him. We're callin' it the Write in Ron campaign. I just can't vote for anyone else. It would be wrong.
John McCain is so unbelievably boring he...zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...what? Oh, sorry. What was I talking about? Oh yeah. McCain. Him in the White House is basically Bush in the White House. And we all know what Bush is like. Buhhhhhhhhhh!
And then there's Obama. Everybody is so excited about this guy. He's always talking about Change we can believe in. But he's never specific. Are we talking change like, back to the good old days of American prosperity, the likes of which we really would only see if Ron Paul were elected? Or are we talkin' bout change like when Hitler and his Socialist buddies took over Germany? Bottom line, I don't want my freakin' taxes raised!!! And that is what we'll all get with Obama. REGARDLESS of what he says. I don't believe a word out of any politician's mouth. How can I believe in Ron Paul then, you ask? Because he's an obgyn! A doctor! A doctor that delivers BABIES!! And I sure do love babies. So, yeah. Ron Paul. Not a career politician. That makes him a bazilliontrillionmilliongazillion times better than any of the other schmucks that have put their hat into the prez race.
So, the options 'they' have given us this go 'round are in general, very scary. McCain is about as exciting as having George Bush for another 4 years. Obama is just, well, come on. He's a single term senator, and now he wants to be president? That alone makes me fear him. Truthfully, the other reason I am rather apathetic is because, well, I've reached the point where I believe that all these guys are working for the same thing. It's all an illusion, this democrat/republican thing, but it keeps us occupied, so they can go about their real business of screwin' us big time. Seriously, if you don't see our government and all the men in it as one big club working toward a one-world-government, well, you'll be surprised I guess, by the coming events. I won't be. I predict our next president will be Obama, and our economy will tank, and he'll bring out the military state. Bring it on. God is with us. And by us, I mean not politicians.

conspiracy nutballs

I admit, one of my guilty pleasures is watching the crazy/silly conspiracy videos on youtube. Ever see any of it? The world is going to end in 2012 according to the Mayan calendar, the nephilim, aka, the children of the fallen angels and first women of earth, will be returning to our planet from some other planet that they were on, let's see, what else...oh yeah, the poles are going to shift, there are secret reptile people that like to eat humans, and they can shape-shift into humans and live among us, and George W. Bush is one of these said reptile people, or he is a devil-worshipper, and he is related to the British monarchy and all the other world elite.

Yeah, see how fun this all is? Now, some of it really freaks me out, and I have to remember that God is in control of all things. I repeat Isaiah 40:10 Do not be afraid, for I am with you. Do not despair, for I am your God. Yeah. So, while I don't believe most of the junkola that I watch, I do think there is a grain of truth in some of it. What that grain is, heck, I dunno. I'm not too naive, however, to NOT believe that the actual devil is working in this world in some hideous, disgustingly scary and abhorrent ways. This world is Whacked Out. Period. So I am prepared for anything, ya'll. I actually look forward to this nation on breakdown- no more electricity or computers or anything (come on, it wouldn't be that bad- think of the positives- would you give up your cell phone, wii, whatever else, if it meant all your credit card debt - heck, ALL your debt was wiped out? No more records of it?? Yeah baby!!! )

So, there we go. I'm not a crazy conspiracy person, but I do enjoy hearing about them, kind of like a person that strains their neck to see the carnage from a highway accident. I guess.

Am I hearing you, Lord??

It's always been said that the Lord speaks softly, so you really have to listen. Well, unfortunately, I am the type of person that has a very active mind. If there was a type of hyperactivity disorder that affected just your brain, like, just your thoughts and the speed at which you think them, well, that's me. Maybe there is an actual disorder like that. I don't know. I do know that my thoughts run through my head faster than Barry Allen. I can hardly keep up.

That said, I have a problem. When I pray and ask for an answer, or direction, or guidance- my head is so full of...everything that I can't discern what is God and what is me. It is highly frustrating, particularly because I don't want to do anything that might hinder God's plan. Just writing that sentence is funny to me, because, of course, little old me ain't gonna do nothin' to hinder God's plans, He's got is all covered, for sure. It's just, I DO want to be part of it, I do want to do my part! I want to be in His will! I just have to figure out where I supposed to be.

So, yeah. Lets figure that out.

Thoughts on Adultery

I think this term has been misunderstood for a while now. I admit I didn't quite understand what adultery was until I really thought and prayed and read about it in the Bible.

The fact is, adultery is rampant. So, what is it?

Adultery is having sex, or even an emotional affair, with someone who is not your spouse. The obvious "adultery" is the cheating on your spouse type of thing. However, if you're not married, you're off the hook, right? Wrong. Premarital sex is adultery, in my eyes. God has a husband or a wife in mind for you- wait for them. If you don't, then you have committed adultery. It's pretty simple. If you aren't having sex with the person that is your husband or wife, then it's adultery. So, if you're not married, you have no business having sex with anybody. Period.

The foggy area is this whole emotional affair stuff. If you have a "best guy friend"- and a husband, that's kind of weird. If you tell this guy friend stuff that you don't tell your husband, that's probably not good. Just think of your husband or wife having a friend of the opposite sex that knew stuff about your spouse that you didn't know. Would you feel betrayed? The bottom line is, you and your spouse are one flesh, you are ONE, and you are to work together to further God's purposes. Anything that gets in the way of His glory- well, you might be commiting adultery. Read: Pornography- yeah, that's adultery alright. You know the song, "Oh be careful little eyes what you see." Well, there is a fine Casting Crowns song called Slow Fade and the line I love goes like this: "The journey from your mind into your hand is closer than your thinking." In other words, it does not take long for those bad thoughts to become bad actions that you are sure to regret.

See, adultery is a sin against God. While it is obviously a grievous sin against your spouse, God made it a law, and therefore, by breaking it, you disobey God, so your sin is against Him. When you put it in that perspective, you will see your marriage as something different. The marriage isn't to make YOU happy and to make YOUR life better. It's to glorify God. Once you get that into your head, you can start living the "married" life that God has planned for you. And when you are going in the direction of God's plans, the world opens up for you.

So, love your husbands. Love your wives. Love them as God loves them. Make it a service to Him that you work through your fights, your disagreements, whatever. Check out the book of Corinthians and the Gospel of Matthew for some other interesting insights into this thing called marriage, and the complex sin that is adultery.

A Good Woman

I enjoy movies, and I enjoy writing reviews about them, too. So here we have one.

A Good Woman is a movie I got while perusing Netflix. I got it because it has Scarlet Johannsssennn in it, as well as Helen Hunt and Tom Wilkinson, however you spell those names. I can usually count on Scarlet J to put in a good performance. The only movie I wouldn't recommend with her in it is Match Point. Unredeemed. That's all I have to say about that.

A Good Woman is a good movie. We'll put it that way. I love Helen Hunt, even though her voice sounds like she is constantly about to sing in a falsetto voice. She was looking a little rough in this movie, too. Frown lines. She plays an infamous gold digger with an appetite for married men, and she apparently sets her sights on Scarlet J's husband. They are in a lovely little Italian seaside town where the bourgis (how do you spell Booo-zshwa?) folks enjoy their gossip, and when Helen Hunt shows up, the red lights go off like crazy.

The best part of this movie is Tom Wilkinson, a twice divorced rich man who falls in love with Helen Hunt BECAUSE she is completely honest and forthright about who she is and who she is not. His affection for her is lovely, and made me feel warm and fuzzy. That is what endeared me to this movie most of all. The Scarlet J part was second. There is an obvious twist in this movie, which you will see long before it is revealed, but it is sweet and complete, and will leave a warm-blooded girl sighing in her seat.
Guys, my husband watched this with me, while playing a video game on the computer. That means it was a movie he would not have picked, but would sit through and pay minor attention to, just to appease me. So there you have it. Go get it and watch it with your gf or wifey.

How I found myself rooting for Hillary

I live in Pennsylvania, and apparently for the past month or so, we have been the center of the political eye. While watching one of the three channels we get here on our TV, in the span of say, one Oprah show, we would see the same two or three Hillary v. Obama attack ads, at each and every commercial break. It was a little tedious, to say the least.
Here is what I know, or have heard about this whole thing-
First, Barack Hussein Obama's original name was Barry, which he changed to Barack when he became a Muslim when he was a teen or something. He then converted back to Christianity, yet didn't change his name back. And then we have his "pastor"- the Reverend White. There is no question that this guy is pretty racist. You can read some excerpts from sermons and scholarly papers where he talks about God, saying if God isn't a God of the black man and hates white people and is actively helping destroy white people, he isn't his God at all... well, that sounds dandy, right? And this is the man that married the Obamas and baptized his children. Hmmm. Lastly, we have some person named Ayers who was some kind of terrorist in the 70's? This Ayers person is one of Obama's buddies, they've done workshops together, quote each other, and other stuff. I don't know much about that, but it sounds disturbing. I'm sure there are plenty of other Obama-friends that are questionable, as well.
Then we have Hillary. We all know she's got friends in low places, and high places. To tell you the truth, I'm surprised she hasn't hired a hitman to off Obama. So, why on God's green earth would I "support" her? Because I know she's full of crap. I know she's a bald-faced liar, just like her hubby, and I know I can't trust a word that comes out of her mouth. She's out there. I already know that she is out for her own interests and the interest of the New World Order. That's pretty clear. We all know what we are going to get with her. I don't like what we'd be getting, but at least I am prepared for it.

B-rock, however, is on stealth mode. I can't put my finger on him. All his talk about generic "change" is intoxicating to people. Even some smart people. I'm quite surprised by the people I hear touting Obama's glories. Why am I the only person that sees what he is? I don't actually know what he is, but I know he's not a whole heckuva lot different than Hillary, except that he's portraying himself as different.

So, there is it. I was hoping Hillary (I love how we just use her first name now, like Cher or Madonna.) would take this state, and dreams do come true, folks.

Now, we'll get serious. The ONLY candidate in this whole crappy, idiotic election that is worth you to leave your house and actually go push that button or pull a lever, and I'm being totally serious, folks- the only man who will actually restore this country to any semblance of something we can be proud of- that man is Ron Paul. He got 16% of the Republican vote here in this state. That is amazing. If you weak-kneed folks that like Ron Paul but don't want to "waste your vote" would realize that if we all went ahead and "wasted our votes" on somebody we actually believe in, HE WOULD GET ELECTED!!!

And now for my cynicism. I believe if God would truly deliver us and put Ron Paul into office, somebody would assassinate him. And that would be very sad, because he is a sweet, wonderful man. A baby doctor!! Come on! What a guy! So, while I wish RP could make the changes to this country, that we so desperately need, I also wish him well, and I don't want him to leave this earth yet. He may not become president, but the Ron Paul Revolution will be felt in this country. The USA will be a wonderful, sovereign nation again, minding our own business internationally, and building up our own economy instead of China's. Boo yah. Ron Paul.

Introductions, of course.

Hello wayfaring readers. How on earth did you find me here? You must be bored. My name is Sara. My little brother has a blog on here, and I am a copycat of the worst sort, so here I am. I am also a mega-writer. I write so much that in my head, my thoughts actually appear as letters on a screen, rather than pictures. Well, maybe not to that extreme, but almost.

I am 28 years old. The most important thing in my life is Jesus. For those of you who stumbled upon this blog accidentally, I can see you rolling your eyes. Another hypocritical Bible-thumping closed-minded numbskull. But give me a chance, here. While I will admit to being hypocritical at times (it's hard not to be when you are saying that this is the "right" while constantly slipping up and doing the "wrong") I am not a brain-washed pew-warming neanderthal Christian. I am a philosophical, thinking Christian- above all else I love thinking about theological things- truth, justice, eternity, morality, and on and on.

That said, I do like to stir things up a bit. I enjoy being right, or moreover, I enjoy standing up for what I believe to be absolute, objective truth. In other words, I will fight tooth and nail for what I believe to be true, or know to be true. The Bible, and every bit of it to me is 100% true. We can get into that bit by bit a little later. The Bible is the most amazing, living, breathing book I have ever had the pleasure of knowing. Read it, memorize bits, live it, let it blow your mind.

But let's wrap this up, folks, so we can get into the good stuff. Other important stuff you should know about me, I suppose: I'm married to a like-minded man who just may be smarter than me, but he isn't quite as witty when it comes to writing stuff. I get a lot of good information from his brain. He remembers EVERYTHING. His name is Seth, which means appointed one.
We have two incredibly adorable children: Elijah, who is almost 3 and quite a little man. His name means "The Lord is my God", which I love, because every time we say his name, we proclaim our God, as well. I hope his life will live up to his name. And then we have Asher, our 6-month-old. He will be mobile in a very short while, and then I will never be able to sit down and write like this for more than 30 seconds. His name means "Happy"- and thus far he has been living up to that name. He smiles constantly and is just very genial to everyone. Don't know who he got that from. And my name means Princess. So, treat me as such! Ha, just kidding.

We live in Lancaster, PA. We attend Faith Community Church of God. I was just voted Elder- which is interesting to me. I'm sure I will have a wealth of subject matter from this position. I also play guitar and sing on the worship team, one of my great joys.

So, let's get started with the good stuff. First up, my opinion on the Hillary win in PA over B-Rock O-bomb-a, and the whole '08 election she-bang. Goody, I know!!!