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Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Sarah Palin: My new superhero??

Ok, ok. My title is suggesting that I am a fan of McCain/Palin or something. So not true. Let me clarify.
I like Sarah Palin. So sue me. Perhaps it's because she's good looking, wears nerdy-cool glasses like me, has lots of kids...well, we've got a lot in common, I guess. I like her, but as far as her being vp? Yeah, I don't know. Not so crazy bout that. More for the fact that McCain would be prez. in order for her to be vp.

I realize this is kind of bizarre considering my utter distaste for both candidates, my firm belief that they are sooooo much the same that voting for one is just like voting for the other, so whatever. But maybe Sarah Palin has some kind of voodoo mojo thing going on that she just makes people enjoy her. I'll admit it, I want to be her friend.

Moreover, I want her to be what she is pretending to be. Recently, she has challenged the McCain camp, coming out against him in a few areas. I actually disagree with some of those areas (constitutional ban on gay marriage- uh, no, let's let it up to the states, like the constitution says!) but the fact that she is coming out against them??? Wow. I see McCain as George Bush, and I see the whole senate/government as a big club of rich a-holes that are planning destruction in order to set up the NWO. Call me a conspiracy nut job, I don't care. So, for Sarah Palin to come out and kind of thumb her nose at that ultra-powerful establishment? The girl has cahones. I want to encourage her. "You do it, Sarah! America ain't fallin' for the bull crap that they want to make you spew! You do your own thing, the American people are screaming for honesty! We want real people! Not stiff suits! Come on! Step out and be faithful to the American people and we will be faithful to YOU!!"

Even as I say that my cynicism wants to stifle me. The American public are nothing more than a bunch of lazy ipod wearing wii playing football watching beer guzzling morons who don't know anything about anything. Anything that matters, anyway.

I had a dream about Sarah Palin, ok. That's where all of this is coming from. I had a dream that this country had dissolved into a war of McCainites vs. Obamaites. Seriously. We were shooting each other, and someone had released vicious trained dinosaurs out to devour us. I was on the McCain side, only because of my moral ideals. They made us fight, even us women! Our fearless commander McCain booked it out of our bunker when the crap really started to fall, and he put Palin in charge of us. He ran away, basically, to save his own wrinkly hiney. I worked my way up to Palin and was like, "What the heck? Where is he going? Isn't he going to lead us through this? Isn't he going to help us defeat the evil?" And she was like, "Oh, no. I was wrong. He's not a Maverick. He's actually playing both sides. He wants us to lose. He told me to hold this position until we are overtaken."
I was shocked as she said this. "Are you kidding me??? You're going to follow those orders? Have you no integrity? Is this what you want??" She replied sadly, "No, of course not. I want my family to have a real future, but what can I do? Nobody is going to listen to me."
I scoffed. "Are you kidding me? We're all here. We want the same thing that you do. You say the word and we will follow you as you charge this bull crap. If you want to take this crap down and WIN, we will be right by your side." And, we did. In the weird violence that ensued, Palin got knocked out and I had to drag her into some weird elevator and we had to hide from one of the Democratic Velociraptor monsters that was hunting us, and we agreed to leave the violence and help each other find our babies...as you can see, this is where it becomes more like one of my normal dreams.

I don't know what all that means. It means I want Sarah Palin to be a hero, I want her to stand up against the status quo like Ron Paul. But will it happen, fat chance.

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

frustrated with comic geeks!!!

Ok, so there is a line of Fisher Price toys out, the DC SuperFriends- these chunky, cute action figures for little toddlers. They also have a Marvel version, Spiderman and Friends, but my son prefers DC characters (hey, I let him make up his own mind, even if he does end up having less-than-satisfactory taste!!) So, like the good geek that I am, I check out ebay for these toys, because they are few and far between in the stores.

Yeah, wanna know why? Because ultra-geeks that live in their mother's basements and collect ANY toy based on ANY comic character, even if it is a PRESCHOOL toy- well, they buy them all up and keep them in their packaging, sitting on their geek shelves collecting dust. HELLO!!

Look, I have a 3 year old and a 1 year old. They both enjoy superheroes. My 1 year old already roars and smashes his fist like the Hulk. I'm so proud. But I can't be spending $40.00 on a VHTF MOC Hawkman figure! That's "veryhardtofind mintoncard" for you non-geeks out there. Seriously though. You are insane, geeks of the world. Just so you know.

Friday, October 17, 2008

Elekshun 08

Alright, folks. I'va bout had it with this junk. Srsly. It's got me all worked up that I'm writin' in txt speak. I want to bang my head against a wall for the next few weeks or so, until this circus has run its course. Srsly.

Here is the bottom-bottom, absolute zero, lcd, pit of the chasm line:

McCain is an old, fudderly, elitist geezer. He's done in my opinion. Ain't got a chance.
Palin, while she is very nice to look at and is fun to listen to when she's not saying the words "Maverick" or "Alaska", well, she's just that and only that. Good lookin', sassy, but not presidential material. Go home and focus on raising your infant, that sounds like a good idea to me, but you know, what do I know, I'm only the mother of two children myself.

Obama, folks, you just love him, don't you. He's black. He's young and hip. He looks like and talks like the hero you want. But, unfortunately, what you are falling for is the Anakin Skywalker syndrome. He's lookin' good right now, but once things get-a-goin, BAM! We's got Darth Vader in the White House. You think I'm jokin'? We'll see in 4 years. Because he's going to win, and then you all will be like, "Yaaay!" and then stuff will start totally sucking, and you'll be like, "I'm so confused" and we'll all say, "Duh, Obama is an a-hole" and you'll be like, "No, he's perfect in every possible way, it must be someone else's fault, let's find someone else to blame because Obama is so handsome and cool and hip and perfect...." And then we'll all be like, "Sigh. You are still dumb. I'm moving to the middle of nowhere to get away from you collassal morons that vote for morons and think there is actually a difference between McCain and Obama. Once again, THERE IS NO SIGNIFICANT DIFFERENCE. And when I say that, I mean in the effect they will have on this country. Their goals are actually very much the same. Obliterate us as a nation and get the whole one-world government thing on the move. Duh, people. Duh.


DUH!!!