And He set me on fire, I am burning alive, with this breath in my lungs, I am coming undone.

I am guessing I will arrive at a moment in my life where I will seem like one of those weird homeless people pushing a grocery cart and randomly yelling out stuff, making everyone uncomfortable by my presence. I suppose I have resigned myself to the idea.

I feel a craziness coming on. No, craziness isn't quite the right word. But, whatever sort of off-kilter fringe-person I become, I know I have to become that person. Submission. I have to let this work be done so that the rest of the work can be done.

I know this, but I'm not exactly paving the way with roses and smiles. I am not clapping my hands and singing out, "Your will be done!" I'm fighting tooth and nail.

I am sure there will be some kind of balance. I won't be as nutty as my imagination is making me out to be. I just feel like I am about to jump off a cliff. God is moving so fast- hey aren't we usually saying, "In God's time" like we're supposed to be patient because He takes longer than we want? Yeah, this is the opposite. Spiritual methamphetamine.

I just hate not knowing, and I hate my brain for leaping ahead and scaring me off. God works for the good of those who love Him, right? Be still and know that I am God, right? Tell that to my brain, Lord! Can I have a time-out? Can I sit on the bench for a day or two?

I know the answer to that, and I know that while I am in this freaked-out stall, God's work within me is at it's peak. Is that irony? I think I'm on shut-down and all of a sudden I've moved forward. Your ways are not my ways, that's for sure. That is probably good, of course. I am a walking, talking time-bomb and I never know when God is going to push the trigger or cut the wires. I just get to feel the pressure and wait for the outcome. Trust in the outcome.

And He set me on fire, I am burning alive, with this breath in my lungs, I am coming undone- And I cannot hold it in, remain composed. Love's taken over me, so I propose- letting myself go. Letting myself go. I am letting myself go....

You are my joy, You are my joy, You are my joy, You are my JOY.