Under duress??

Here I am standing a few hundred feet away from something I know will be awesome, that will show the glory of God to people who don't really think He is actively working in our lives right now, at this very moment.

Between me and that ultimate end is a neck-high river of sewage. The sewage is my own doing, but I've got to get through it in order to do what God intends for me to do. But it's not like I'm jumping right in. But how long can I stall??

I'm overwhelmed, but not yet overcome. I don't know my time schedule, which just makes things worse. I have three children to think of. And believe me, that is what I am thinking of.

The thing is, who the heck am I to say this stuff? While I realize that the message is for me as much as it is coming from my lips- do other people get that?? I know I can't ever be good enough to deserve to speak this stuff with authority, yet here I am being told to do it. Why give it to me? Why can't I know the reason?

Trust, trust, trust. Obey, obey, obey. So easy to type. much harder to put into action and live. Throw me against a wall, please.