Flippin' Phillipians...

Phil 1:6 And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns.

It seems as if the moment I accepted Christ, in that same instant my heart began longing for 'real life'- eternity in heaven with my Lord. Forever. and Ever. Unending joy, love like no other love. All around, over, through, within me.

So, you could also say that from that moment, I began to hate this life. I feel terrible saying that, of course. And I don't believe God approves of my ever-growing melancholy toward this existence, because He's got work for me to do, and He can't have me being all grumbly. We are supposed to serve with joy. And usually, I do, I think.

But God started this work within me, and Paul is certain it will be completed. To me, that means refining. Smashing into a thousand pieces and being rebuilt by God from the ground up. And not just once, but a few times, maybe a million or two. I don't like it, but I know I need it.

My oh my, I have been a grumbly prophet of late. Purposefully focusing on being grumpy so I don't have to pay attention to whatever God is trying to impart. Lalalalalalala, can't hear you...lalalalala. So, now, at this point, not only is God trying to impart the business I need to take care of, He's also burning some things out of me- burning out all the bad, all the nasties. He WILL continue this work in me, so help Him, or...

People talk about 'falling from Grace'. That would be so easy...if you are allowed to fall. I am probably thinking way too highly of myself, yet not quite highly enough of God when I say that He won't let me fall. I will continue to be 'tortured' in my brain until I get what I need to get. I am not allowed to become an alcoholic or drug addict or adultress or shady fugitive from justice. There are days when I so want to be one of those, just screw up so mightily that people will never be able to trust my words again. That I will be useless. Too busted up to be any kind of authority. But, as I wrote in my previous little bit of blah-blah-blah- God has got me in His grip. And He is not letting go. And I praise Him for it. Loved that much. Can't quite wrap my head around it.