Looking forward to home...

I suppose it could be the fact that my family and I are "squatting" at our in-laws, but I've been day-dreaming about heaven a little more than usual.

I day dream about heaven on a regular basis anway, so this extra pining for home has me slightly puzzled. I'm waiting for my conscious to catch up with my sub-conscious. That's always a good time.

Having 2 people in heaven waiting for me does make me hope for it a lot more than someone who doesn't have people in heaven, or someone who doesn't believe in heaven. Obviously.

The fact that I'd give my arms and legs for 5 more seconds with my dad, that is a definite reason I crave eternity. And to hear my Aunt Ruth's voice one more time, especially her voice when she is teasing...yeah.

I usually have a melancholy spell every so often. I'm sure we all do, I'm not really different, I don't think. I do wonder if other folks pray, plead, beg for their heavenly home.

Not that I want to die. No. I couldn't bear leaving my kids- no no no. But this is like, my hugest, craziest fantasy:

One morning, on like, a Saturday when Seth is home, we'll be outside, the boys chasing bugs, Seth and I on the porch swing with Shiloh...

In an instant, we all find ourselves floating upward, the boys screaching and looking to me, terrified. I'd know immediately what was happening, so my smile, my laughter would comfort them and they'd float their way over and we'd all join our hands together and float upward...
we'd crane our necks into a position so we can see whats ahead- and there in a brilliant, shining spot in the clouds is Jesus. You know Jesus when you see Him. You just do. I can hear Asher squealing, "It's She-shus, Mommy! Wook!"

We join Jesus there, the boys jumping up and down, Shiloh floating around us and doing her happy dance, those chubby legs kicking for all their worth... Seth and I just laughing, hugging Jesus, kissing His hands...

And then we take a moment to look around us, look at all the other people that have made their journey to be with their Lord- beaming, radiating pure joy. And there's my daddy, the same spots of gray in his beard and flecked in his hair, smiling, his eyes crinkling until they disappear, his arms crossed until I reach him, and then I'm five years old again, hugging my daddy like its any other day, hearing 'sweetie' and 'hon' and all the other things he called me...

And he meets my boys, instantly in love with them and they go soaring on Grandpa's arms...oh, the simple joy. And his new little 'sweetie', Shiloh beaming at her Grandpa, equally beaming, their eyes sparkling, mirroring a picture I have from when I was a baby. To see that, when I see that- there are no words for it.

So this is how I day dream, working up that yearning in my heart, and then settling it down so I can go on existing in this life, continue to do as my Lord wants me to.

And I have much to look forward to in this life alone. Including the entire life of one little blue-eyed (and very noisy) little thing sitting amongst a pile of toys behind me...

One look at her smile, and that yearning subsides for the moment.